Update

what to say... it's been a WHILE, like a long while... Cary and I are still together :) over half a year now!!! and well, he's wonderful. yeah, we've had our differences, but at the end of the day we always know that we will never stop loving each other. He makes me happier than I have ever been. :)

Band is GREAT! I quit jazz band, due to getting not enough hours at work, but then they gave me less... so I am on the hunt for a new job :P yes. I work at Wienerschnitzel... :P and I'm not proud. but back to band!!! last semester I was first chair in jazz band on the tenor sax. had a ton of solos, thought that was fun. but it became not so fun when nobody else would learn their part, we sounded like crap and I would cry after class wondering why nobody else cared. So it was time to get away from that. In Wind Ensemble, I was first chair alto :) (steven and brian both left tho... :( ) it was exciting to be able to lead. I liked the other girl alto sax, but the guy. OMG! he was soooo annoying! I'm sure he didn't mean to be, but he was dang out rude. I would help him out with a rhythm and he would act like he was perfect.... total bugger, so I convinced the girl to sit by me one day, because he played too loud and was giving me ear aches, so she did. I loved that girl. haha. funny thing, we were about the same hight, same hair colorish, and wore the same clothes. sometimes EXACTLY the same. it was way funny. But when band started this semester, I was suddenly the only alto.... While I miss Tatiana (the girl) and don't miss Charles (annoyance) at all. it was weird.... but now I think I really like it. Because they really rely on me now. Nobody can cover my part, it is only me :)

We're playing March from '1941' it is soooooo freakin awesome! we played an arrangement of it my freshy year of hs with Sess'. and I was so excited when I found out we would be playing it again. this time we got the music and it was HARD, FUN, but HARD!!! Turns out it is dirrectly from John Williams score and transposed for the band! I almost died! I swear, I have never been this close to one of John Williams' pieces!

Which brings me to my next point, some may have heard that I was thinking of moving to Boston, to attend New England Conservatory of Music. Unfortunately, I would probably not survive the Boston weather and had to change plans. Recently I broke out in weird spots that appeared to be ringworm (eww! I know!) so I went to the doctor. Turns out, my skin basically has asthma to cold air! who would've thought?! so sadly NEC was a no... So my next turn of thought, California. I want to perform for movies and stuff. because that would be sooo awesome, and what better place than california? (california! california! caaaaalifornia! here we come!) Cary and I have talked about it a little, but haven't set anything true to date. He is interested in going into Video Game design, and I think California would be a good place for that too :) so hopefully that will be a place for us both :) plus, I miss Ashley TERRIBLY!!!!!!!!!! and then I would be a lot closer to her. As for now, I'm living with my parents, and cary lives in the basement. heh. we are looking to move into a place with Mike Rowe. (FUN!!!!) and he might have a hook up on a place :) so hopefully soon.

But that's all for now. I am tired. heh :P

PS I miss Jenny Beece too!!! :*(

Oh, and I had a dream about saving Pikachu.... he was very yellow... and used to be a small child...

Cary

I recently started dating Cary Billingsly, the one and only. he first moved to hurricane 4 years ago, when we met. we were friends from the start, may have not always hung out, but we were pretty cool about each other. we slowly became better and better friends, and by the end of the year, his freshmen, my sophmore. we were good friends. and well, I thought he was pretty great, and so I would always tease him and try to kiss him on the cheek. so I finally did, after graduation, when I had to leave I kissed him on the cheek. hahaha. he turned so bright red. and it was great, this little lady, laughed at him. hahaha. :D it cracks me up to this day. well, then Cary had to leave for the summer, and wouldn't be back for a while. And I suddenly missed him very much, more than I ever expected myself. I missed walking down the street to see my best friend and to tease him some more. well, the day he got back, I think he called, and I was so excited. so we hung out. and decided to play a N64 game, Tank Wars. pretty fun! and we beat it together! so awesome! well, according to my parents, they could see that Cary had been scootching closer to me every so often, and knew that he liked me. Well, at band camp, I heard that Cary liked me, from our good friend Zach. while I was crazy about Cary, I got scared. Guys typically didn't like me, so I wasn't sure what to do or think. so I backed off a little, but knew that I couldn't really hide my feelings. Cary and I wrote notes back and forth for a while, until in one, in a metaphor, he told me that I was beautiful. it was extremely sweet. and I believe that I still have it some where. Well, it was known on thanksgiving day that we liked each other, because well, we talked on the phone for 6 hours.... and then decided that we should just hang out instead. hahaha. nerds, I know. so we hung out. and I think that night, we were laying on his bed, watching a movie, and he was playing with my hair, he always used to twirl it. and it was so fun just being with him, and we'd hold hands sometimes. Until Zach walked in. Now mind you, Zach is not subtle at all... he screams, laughing, and runs out to tell Cary's mom. at this point, I was a little embarassed. but things were getting better between us. Then something happend, my dear lovely cousin convinced me that Cary didn't really like me, and that he liked her, and that I was just going to get my heart broken... well... I believed her, because she was my best friend... and then she turned around and dated Cary, and it hurt me so bad.... I wanted to hate him, but at the same time I wanted it to be me that Cary kissed and held hands with. instead I just watched in silence. Well, soon Cary and my cousin broke up, and that was a little awkward. I still liked him, but was affraid to say anything. so I never did... he dated another girl, and automatically I hated her... jealousy major. hahaha. so we just stayed friends, and I would call him when I needed him, and he was always there for me. Then we found out that Cary had to move to missouri, this depressed me a lot... Zach kept telling me that if I asked him to, Cary would stay for me. I liked him so much, but was afraid that if I admitted to liking him, he would have to leave anyways. So I stopped liking him, set my mind on other boys. and Joe became my new major interest. I soon had pushed Cary out of my mind of love, and he became strickly a friend. I loved to hang out with him, but didn't have any feelings towards him. While I loved dating Joe for the little over a year that we did. and I did love Joe. We ended our relationship due to many reasons. and I liked several different guys for a while, just to keep my mind off of Joe. well, at that point in time, Cary was engaged to a girl in misouri. so I tried to be friends with her, talked to her online and stuff. she seemed like a nice girl, but slowly she got weirder, and cary got online less and less. I was missing cary so much. he was always my best friend, and then suddenly he wasn't there to talk to. well this girl made me believe that Cary hated me, and I wanted to cry. I tried calling him, but he was already headed out to utah. and all I had to do was wait till he came here, and maybe he would stop by. well, the night he got here, I was the first place he stopped. I gave him a big hug, and asked him, and he said that he'd never hate me, that made me very happy. well, we started hanging out a lot, and remembering old times, and just talking about everything. And I knew that I liked him again. but I didn't want to ruin his engagement, so I told myself to do nothing. well, our friends Mike and Devin found out.... yup... they could tell... and they got it out of me. hahaha. so they swore not to tell. But teased cary about something I told them, but wasn't aloud to tell him... hmmm, what could that be? haha. Cary and I slowly started to flirt more, and return to the old days. and it was making me happy. And then one night, we kissed. and it felt so wonderful. I felt that I had waited so long to do that, that it couldn't actually be happening... that it was just a dream. guess what! it wasn't!!! :D Cary ended his engagement, he said that the relationship was taking some bad turns, and realized his mistake before kissing me. and Cary and I have now been dating for about a month and a half :) And he just has something to him that I can't help but love. he is so strange, yet so down to earth. and he loves me for how I am, and doesn't mind when I get a little odd. he describes me as "... poofy" hahaha. it's very cute on how he is :) I love you Cary :) you make me happier than I have been in a long time. You are my deffinition of love.

short little writing.

I was once a bird, flew higher than the trees, then somebody shot one wing, and I have trouble keeping in flight. They're waiting... waiting for me to fall to the ground.

I thought I was kinda dumb, then I met somebody, and I realized that maybe I am smart after all.

I love snow!

I am the coolest ever!!!!!! go me! lol! ;)

BOOM

I exploded.

"You should carry something that smells really good when you walk down the isle!" "mmmm.... Pot Roast..."

I have the greatest section in band! :) Everyday is so much fun, we all get along, and it's just a very happy place. To my left is the world's wonderful Steven! And to my right is the amazingly awesome Brian! And next to Brian, is the only mormon of the group, Chad! Chad isn't as social as Brian and Steven are, but he's still awesome :) Going to band is what I look forward to on monday thru thursday! Brian is goofy and so sweet to me, heehee! And Steven is always happy, and it's really nice to see him :) It's funny, we'll have a long rest, and suddenly, Brian will turn to me and say, "Where are we????" And his smile totally distracts me, and so I forget. haha. And then Steven will ask me where we are (right after I forget), and so I tell him that Brian made me forget... and then he gasps at Brian and we laugh! :):):):) Happy happy days!!!

So I think Brian's friends, and possibly Brian, know that I like him... Liza (plays flute in concert band, and alto in jazz) was talking to Brian and I after class, and Brian tossed a paper in my case, so I picked it up saying, "ooh! What's this???" and when I saw that it was the stub to a movie ticket, I threw it back at him and was like, "here! Have your trash back. haha!" lol, so then Liza said, "Ohhh... too bad it wasn't his number huh!" making me totally blush, and there become an awkward silence... hahaha. And I saw Brian today! heehee! We went to Sears, because my mum had to get a part for the fridge, and oh yes, I knew Brian worked Sundays at Sears! :) So I talked to him for a second and could not stop smiling, I probably looked so dorky, but he smiled a lot too! So I was happy :) yayyyy! :) hahaha. Yeah, he is way so cute. And my mum agrees that he is too. But ofcourse as we were leaving, I was teasing him about not coming to class and he was like, "Whatever, I come to class!" Smiling way big. And then my mum was like, "That's not what I hear!" ohhhh. I just hope I wasn't blushing too bad! hahaha. That's okay, at least she didn't say something more obvious like, "Oh, so this is the guy you like!" lol. Yeah, so I am glad that I saw him, even if I did look like a dork who couldn't stop smiling. Lol.! At least he smiled too right? ;)

Well, enough about Steven and Brian. That is all I have to say because I can't really think of anything else... but yes, great great guys. :)

Love and hugs to all!!!!

Jill